Excerpted from Harvard Business Review, The Management Tip of the Day on January 27, 2016
Give Feedback to Someone Who Doesn’t Want It
It’s important to give feedback to team members. But what should you do when an employee gets defensive? Leaders in these situations may want to take a break from giving performance-related feedback and try giving feedback based more closely on how the employee receives it. Here’s how to get started:
- Get curious. You can’t assume that the feedback-receiver sees her behavior in the same way that you do. Acknowledge that you’re expressing an opinion and ask to hear the other person’s, too.
- Use neutral language. Try to avoid words that carry negative connotations and place blame.
- Ask for feedback yourself. Be brave enough to ask, “How am I contributing to this problem?” and then model how to receive the feedback.
- Secure a commitment. Make a specific request for a behavior change, be open to counter-offers, and come to an agreement on the goal.
Adapted from “When Your Employee Doesn’t Take Feedback” by Deborah Grayson Riegel